Where the Good Men Have Gone and How to Get Them Back

May 22, 2017

Where the Good Men Have Gone and How to Get Them Back

Once upon a time, women wanted to get married and have kids. They wanted other things too, but marriage and motherhood was first on the list. As a result of this natural desire, women needed to find a “marriageable” man, a.k.a. a good man who could also make a comfortable living. This arrangement allowed women to raise their children without the burden of earning an income. Men understood this arrangement, and, seeing as they aren’t the ones who bear children, it made sense. In fact, they took pride in being able to provide for their families. 

Then feminists came along to implode this entire arrangement.

They told women that being breadwinners is far more satisfying than being wives and mothers. It is simply safer, both emotionally and economically, to not rely on a man in any way. Doing so puts women in an vulnerable position and erodes their identities—because men, left unchecked, are natural-born oppressors.

The message sunk in; and decades later, marriage and motherhood is no longer women’s number-one goal. They now focus solely on themselves and their careers. As for sex, women are encouraged to separate it from emotion and treat their bodies like a virtual playground. On the chance a woman does get attached, she can simply ‘shack up,’ as it used to be called, and see how things go.

Eventually, of course, being single and unmarried gets old and women decide that getting married and having kids doesn’t sound so bad after all. In fact, their desire for marriage and motherhood becomes more heightened and more urgent than ever.

Problem is, now they can’t find a marriageable man. The men who were marriage-oriented honed in on and found women who hadn’t been seduced by feminist dogma, while the men who were blasé about marriage—which many would argue is most men—lost the incentive to marry.

Well of course they did! Women made it clear they don’t need men for anything. They don’t need his protection or his money, and they can even raise babies on their own with no social stigma. Put another way: respect for a man’s contribution to marriage is dead.

And so, men stopped working hard on behalf of women and children. They stopped thinking about women as potential wives. If a man wants sex, there are plenty of willing and available women from which to choose.

To put it another way: the feminist plan failed.  It was supposed to liberate women, but it didn’t. Instead it made love more complicated—and more scarce. It’s a ‘friggin mess.

Frustrated with the lack of marriageable men, women now insist the whole thing is men’s fault. If men weren’t such losers—in other words, if they were gainfully employed and not living in their parents’ basements—women wouldn’t have to postpone marriage and motherhood or forgo it altogether.

But it wasn’t men who changed the rules—it was women! Or more specifically, it was feminists who misled an entire generation of women.

Can this mess be turned around? Absolutely. But women must lead the way since they are the sex that steered us off course. All men did was respond accordingly. Men, as a rule, will accommodate women. They’ll act as poorly or as wisely as women permit. That is the nature of man.

It’s the women who respect men, who prioritize marriage and motherhood, and who don’t adhere to a bogus notion of equality that find good men. When enough of these women come out of the woodwork, so too will enough good men.

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  • Hughe Magnbine

    I enjoyed your article, Suzanne. I am a pro-equality person and this is why I find the situation between men and women disturbing. Men are expected to be loving, gentle, to care for women’s feelings, and I agree, but I see so much bullying of men by women. When a guy says he is lonely, feeling unloved, needs intimacy sexually, and similar things, some of the comments I have come to expect to see by women are “man up!”, “don’t be a p***y”, “you’ll get over it”, “go take care of it yourself” and things like that, which, if a man said to a woman, he would rightly be called a total a**hole. Somehow though, there seems to be a gender-tribal thing where women are basically okay with crushing men into dust and laughing all the way. I particularly dislike the term “man up” for a couple of reasons. For one thing, it is a crappy thing that men who still think like apes like to say to each other, especially to men who actually have feelings. But when a woman says it, it’s doubly hurtful because I feel like saying “You don’t know what it’s like to be treated like a tool with no feelings, and if I treated you like that, you’d think I was the biggest jerk in the world, because YOU are allowed to have feelings. I am not a macho ape man and I am not a wimp, I am somewhere in between, probably having lower testosterone levels than generally aggressive men. I don’t like fighting, I don’t like arguing, I don’t like putting people down and trying to hurt their feelings. When I see women acting the way I describe above, I just think “You guys act just like immature, uncaring, aggressive men.” It’s a huge turn off, and makes me not want to be married. I don’t hang out with jerky men and I certainly don’t want to wade through a pool of jerky, immature, women to find a rare nice one who understands that some men can have a penis AND feelings and need more out of life than to tell dirty jokes, laugh at the downfalls of others, work themselves silly, drink beer, and watch TV, worrying about which team of highly paid athletes can put more balls across a line or into a hoop.

    May 30, 2017 at 3:11 pm
    • Don Wornock

      Suzanne you are not seeing the forests for the trees. Who is asking “Where have the good men gone?” Before answering, I will is tell you who they are not. They are not the Alpha women–high 9’s or 10’s (movie stars) that can get great guys no matter what. They are not pretty and sexy 20 year old Beta girls–the high 7’s, 8’s, and low 9’s–that can choose from dozens of Beta guys that want to marry them. They are not big Gamma girls–the 5’s and 6’s that they Alpha and most Beta males won’t f**k. They have never been in demand so they marry a Gamma male.

      No is not those; instead, it is 30 year old women with perhaps high paying jobs that were the pretty and very desirable Beta girls at age 20. However, at age 20, they rejected all the Beta males and set their sights on Alpha male because Alpha male will f**k Beta girls; but, Alphas marry Alphas. And, every year while chasing and f**king Alphas their desirability dropped. At 20 they were 8’s, at 25 maybe they were 7’s. At 30, they are Gammas (6’s). And, at 30 after a dozen going nowhere relationships, they realize they must settle for a guy that will marry them; not for a guy (Alpha) that will only f**k them. They look around and ask “Where have all the good men (meaning Betas) gone? The Beta males are still there, but Beta males don’t marry Gammas.

      June 9, 2017 at 11:33 pm
  • Pfesser Fesser

    I just can’t help myself. Whenever a young lady comes up with the phrase, “I’m a feminist,” I simply say, “A feminist! Isn’t that cute!”

    And I write her off.

    May 29, 2017 at 6:46 am
  • Beth

    Do you want people to marry men just for their “comfortable income” and ability to produce sperm? This is mind boggling to me. I didn’t marry my husband for his money. Or to have kids. Kids will be a happy by product but not why I married.

    I married my best friend since childhood. The man of honor and strength. A servant minded humble, gentle, laid back man who is chockfull of talents and good qualities. I married my husband for who he is not for his money making abilities or sperm. I could be poor as dirt and childless with him and it’d still be heaven on earth because he is my Beloved. I am his and he is mine. He is not my personal workhorse or my breeder stud.

    May 27, 2017 at 8:17 pm
      • Beth

        I did try it. Still happily and wonderfully married to my best friend. Marriage is more about babies and making good money

        June 1, 2017 at 11:03 am
  • Jim

    As a man, I always wanted to stay home with the kids. I think you should be careful about generalizing. Not all men want to enter the rat race. Thank goodness we all have more choices nowadays.

    May 27, 2017 at 8:10 pm
    • Oksana

      To add to what Suzanne said, most women would not be attracted to you. It’s kid of a turn-off. Sorry!

      May 30, 2017 at 2:23 pm
    • Don Wornock

      Beth, you would drop him in a heartbeat, if he didn’t have enough money to support you and your children; and, if you could find another guys that would. It is not necessary to be wealthy to happy; but you must be able to pay the bills.

      June 9, 2017 at 11:43 pm
  • Howard G

    Women complain that men don’t listen. Well, men have been listening all too well. Listening to women state “women need men like a fish needs a bicycle”. Listening to women shout from the mountain tops that they don’t need men. Listening to women say “all men are pigs”. Listening to women say “all men are rapists, and that’s all they are”. Listening to women say “man-hating is a noble and viable act”. Listening to women celebrate the abuse and mutilation of men at the hands of women- i.e.. Catherine Kieu Becker’s castration of her estranged husband for divorcing her, the attack on JayZ by Beyonce’s Sister, and many others. Listening to other men tell tales of the all to often destruction that marriage wrought on them once love waned and dollar signs showed up in the eyes of their exes. Men listened to countless tales of rape liars that saw life lasting destruction on the men they falsely accused. The list goes on. Many of the above mentioned facts about how women see us are assisted by feminism and men also listen to the complete silence by all women, even those calling themselves “good feminists who don’t hate men” when they do occur. Women (no not all, but a majority” have zero compassion for men’s suffering and apparently don’t need us. We have listened well ladies. Stop complaining.

    May 27, 2017 at 2:57 pm
  • John Smith

    One of the best ways men as a whole can regain some respect in society is to stop ejaculating at sperm donor clinics. Women don’t need men because they can become mothers without the involvement of a real man. All they have to do is walk on down to the local sperm clinic and get an injection. Take away their unnatural way to become mothers and things will start to improve if ever so slightly.

    May 25, 2017 at 11:25 am
  • Luke

    Be respectful, Zak S David. That’s MRS. Venker, not “Ms”. She is an honorable woman, not a feminist harpy.

    May 25, 2017 at 2:09 am
  • Ed Minchau

    Perhaps we should have locked the barn door before the horses ran off, hmm? It’s a little late to be locking the barn door now.

    May 24, 2017 at 9:22 pm
    • Curious

      Disclosure: I am a Muslim
      I laugh my ass out when I read these posts.
      Islam (and most of the religions) taught us that Men and Women are different. Both have different rights and responsibilities.
      Women need to be protected, valued for honour and chastity.
      Men should provide for the women and their children.

      Society haters somehow managed to talk us into the idea of liberalism, extra/pre marital sex und all those buzz movements we have seen in the last century.

      I watch the degeneration of society, specially in the west with great amusement. The society is imploding in itself. Replenish some humans form the east ?? No it doesnt work !

      June 1, 2017 at 5:37 am
  • Ron Judge

    It was a great woman who once said “YOU MADE YOUR BED NOW YOU CAN SLEEP IN IT” you could not pay me to marry again…. no amount of money, you can’t put a price tag on sanity !

    May 24, 2017 at 6:41 pm
  • richard meraz

    good men went mgtow and now more young men are doing the same…todays women are narcissistic, greedy, selfish welfare leeches and wannabe princesses..why would any man want to marry that?? the laws are stacked against us and we lose everything… no thank you, ill go my own way…cheers

    May 24, 2017 at 2:01 pm
  • Clay Robertson

    Justice for men & boys (and the women who love them)1 – ‘J4MB’ – recommends that men don’t marry, because the institution has been highly risky for men for decades, and remains so. The state gives wives considerable power over husbands, because of their preferential treatment in divorce settlements – it’s as if they’re given loaded guns to use at any point during their marriages, however well they’re treated. This is toxic for marriage. Women institute 75% of divorce proceedings. Even if you bring most of the financial resources into your marriage, and earn much more than your wife during it, you could find your financial position devastated by divorce. If your ex-wife maliciously denies you access to your children – a grave emotional assault on your children, you, your parents, and others – you’ll face a lengthy, costly, and highly uncertain legal battle to gain reasonable access to them. Even if you’re denied that access, you’ll have to provide for the children financially. If you’d like to learn more about why you shouldn’t marry, visit the J4MB website dedicated to the matter.2 1

    May 24, 2017 at 9:16 am
  • FEMINISM! The feminists wanted to control our entire society. They got sexual freedom, but lost moral and family values in the process. Who would want to marry a feminist? Why marry a cow when you can get the milk for free?
    End result? Fewer marriages, and more immorality. Fewer marriages, and more single mother homes. More single mother homes, and more children in the streets without a father. And the dystrophy of society marches onward, ever onward, into the valley of death.

    May 24, 2017 at 9:03 am
  • Nope, we are not coming back – some of us were smart enough to never get married to begin with.
    I will be celebrating 50 this year. Never married, No kids, No Regrets. I travel the world, work remote and give not one f*ck about society, and certainly not returning it to the Leave it to Beaver days.
    Teaching and mentoring the generations behind me – avoid marriage at all costs – it is the only way to insure divorce will not wreck your life.

    May 24, 2017 at 12:32 am
  • Min S Wal

    I think it can be undone (it certainly needs to be). Despite the cynical and bitter MGTOW, there are still men who desire children and marriage. We need to teach our daughters to be ladies and not the wretched messes feminists want them to be. For the future of our society and the happiness of our boys and girls, we need to spearhead the change. Women are unhappier than ever before, and men aren’t exactly doing better (suicide rates through the roof, nevermind other terrible things). Fewer women than ever identify as feminist. The loud minority CAN be dismissed and must be. And we need to educate our peers and use our votes wisely. It’s an uphill battle, but since it matters so much, it’s one worth doing. Society cannot function without a positive birthrate. Society cannot function without men being the great movers and shakers. Society cannot function without women engaging in the support role they were best suited for these last several millenia. Let exceptions be, but for the rest, let them do what they were best suited for. AND we really REALLY need to fix family and divorce courts. Never was there ever such a barbaric and biased system–and frankly, it has contributed greatly to men’s growing lack of interest in marriage.

    May 23, 2017 at 1:40 pm
  • Lol. You can’t unscramble an egg. This is how society is now.

    May 23, 2017 at 9:13 am
  • Peter Jameson

    No. The legal framework remains, and most women, no matter how egalitarian cannot resist raping her husband if divorce court looms.

    Unless there are significant changes in the way courts administer laws in civil and criminal court, men will continue to justifiably avoid marriage.

    May 23, 2017 at 8:41 am
  • Markus Duerdon

    I agree with everything said here. Also, if divorce laws weren’t life destroyingly anti-male, maybe more men would consider marriage.

    May 23, 2017 at 8:37 am
  • Greg Allan

    Sorry ladies, that horse has bolted. You should have been more careful what you wished for.

    May 23, 2017 at 2:25 am
  • Zak S David

    “Men, as a rule, will accommodate women. They’ll act as poorly or as wisely as women permit. That is the nature of man.”

    Sorry, Ms Venker, but I fear that genie is never going back into that bottle. That may have been men decades ago, but today men have seen where that road leads and have absolutely no interest in following it. Sure, you’ll get a couple guys certainly, but far more have seen what a life of back breaking work can lead, and don’t seem to have any interest in participating in that game again.

    May 22, 2017 at 11:07 pm

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