It has been a crazy week, needless to say. The media has had a field day with my article, “The War on Men,” twisting my words any which way they choose. The hate mail has been severe — one woman even told me to kill myself. Fortunately, I hear from as many, if not more, women who secretly tell me they agree with my argument. It’s a shame these women have to hide their true feelings. It’s just not right.
Interestingly, out of all the feminist hate mail and blogs that attacked me and my message, there was one who was honest enough to speak the truth. It may interest her (and others) to know she is not alone in claiming the feminist mantle while simultaneously backpedaling.
Rebecca Walker, daughter of committed feminist Alice Walker, who wrote The Color Purple, was just as courageous in her article entitled, “How My Mother’s Fanatical Views Tore Us Apart.” She writes:
“As a child, I . . . yearned for a traditional mother. . . . I grew up believing that children are millstones around your neck, and the idea that motherhood can make you happy is a complete fairytale. . . . When I hit my 20s, . . . I could feel my biological clock ticking, but I felt if I listened to it, I would be betraying my mother and all she had taught me. . . . In fact, having a child has been the most rewarding experience of my life. . . . My only regret is that I discovered the joys of motherhood so late—I have been trying for a second child, but so far with no luck.
Feminism has betrayed an entire generation of women into childlessness. . . . But far from taking responsibility for this, the leaders of the women’s movement close ranks against anyone who dares to question them—as I have learned to my cost. . . . I believe feminism is an experiment, and all experiments need to be assessed on their results. Then, when you see huge mistakes have been paid, you need to make alterations.”
As for the men to whom I refer in my article, the ones I say are retreating from marriage, below is a sampling of their views:
From John: “Too many times the women I meet are so angry and hostile I lose any attraction…I want women to know there are many men like me, waving a white flag to say we just want to love and be loved.”
From Peter: “I am frustrated and sad and find being a guy in this day and age belittling.”
From Carl: “I am a 44 year old male, Christian, college educated, gainfully employed by corporate America, former US Marine, and especially a single father of a 13 year old daughter and 24 year step-daughter. My first wife passed away from brain cancer in 1997, and I loved her very much. Unfortunately, I remarried and am now divorced, although the settlement nightmare is not over yet. With that being said, all I can say is wow, the truth is told. I am one of the men that will refuse under any and all circumstances to remarry again.”
From Michael: “Truth resounds in your words. You touch on human psychology. Rules so basic that modern man has forgotten the fundamentals.”
From Rob (and wife Cathy): “My wife and I read your latest article on Fox and we were nodding our heads and saying “that’s so true.” I am 48 and my wife is 44. Who is telling these girls all these lies? When did this happen? Anyway, we love you and hope you can one day get to the West Coast – it’s a Mission Field here.”
From Gary: “I have been a single dad for about 9 years. My experiences have been not so great in seeking dates and long-term relationships. I try to find single moms and most of them seem to think they are going to find a Brad Pitt look-alike who will arrive on their doorstep with a big bag of money. So many of them live in this Vegas with girlfriends on the weekends world, I can’t understand what they are looking for. I don’t understand where the grown up ladies are that want a stable guy. As for the war on men, I find that the Sandra Bullock mentality is alive and well.”
Anonymous: “Ms. Venker’s most basic, thematic point and crux of her original “War on Men” article is that many women have too much anger to be able to logically analyze to what extent they are responsible for whether their relationships with men (and lives as a whole) are satisfactory. Most of the rebuttal has only served to prove that one basic idea.”
From Rick: “Suzanne Venker just dropped a pipe bomb of knowledge on women everywhere. It’s called the harsh truth it’s the ONLY reason this is getting backlash from women and the only reason men pretend to be outraged is cause they want the good stuff, which is EXACTLY what Suzanne is talking about. Your “liberation” isn’t so liberating after all, but leave it to foolish pride to stand in the way of a woman’s happiness.”
From Michael: “As a man (single) of 43, I cannot tell you how much you have spoken my thoughts. I’ve NEVER had someone state so precisely, my perspective. ‘Women aren’t women” is something I say all the time, whenever asked why I’m single. I am very eligible, but I am simply not attracted to the “women” of today (other than physically). I am traditional, but I am no chauvinist. I am the type of man who would lay down his life for his woman, and who would constantly be focused on her comfort, happiness and well-being, more than his own. It’s so crazy to me that this generation has been brainwashed to believe all relationships in the past were bad and that women were all weak and exploited, and all men were domineering and evil. I ask the young people of today if they’ve ever listened to the music of old? It’s a reflection of society in the past. Listen to the music of the past, and it’s all about the deepest of compassion, commitment, dedication, love, etc… Now listen to the music today, which is all about self, sex, and anything else that’s shallow.”
From Glenn: “If this article could be more accurate, I don’t know how.”
From Richard: “If I WERE single now, I would have no interest in women other than in the most superficial way. I would never have to confidence to invest emotional energy in any. Call it want you want.”